Beguiling

Today marks my first official day of Maternity Leave! ... and it's also my 32nd birthday. 

I'm in that strange waiting period (between working and mothering) where I'm not totally sure what to do with myself. And so, after our morning dog walk; I've spent the rest of the morning reading - Wellness by Nathan Hill - this month's book club book. For which our book club meeting is scheduled for January 29th (also my due date), so who's to say whether I'll be there to discuss the book this time round.

Regardless, I'm enjoying the read. On page 270, I stumbled across a word I'm not familiar with: "beguiling". One of my favourite features of the Kobo is that you can get an instant Oxford Dictionary definition of words just by highlighting them. 

Beguiling - adjective. [bee-gai-luhng]

1. charming or enchanting; often in a deceptive way:

• "a beguiling mixture of English, French, and Italian"

I suddenly remember that I wrote a blog post about Words of the Day in September 2018 (wow time really does fly). So then I got to spend a chunk of this work-free morning re-visiting my thoughts and ramblings from my 8-year-prior self. This is one of the things I love about writing and keeping an online record - the getting to re-visit my past mind to see how I thought, expressed, 

Here I am now - entering a new chapter. Last night, on the eve of my 32nd birthday, I sat in the bathtub with a medical-grade plastic shot glass (okay - "Graduated Plastic Medicine Cup") and a 1ml syringe as I attempted to "milk myself" (as I've been calling it), or collecting colostrum. It is a truly humbling experience to milk yourself in a bathtub. I'm sure this is only the start of many humbling moments I have yet to encounter on this parenting journey.

Back to beguiling - through my brief investigation into this new word, I've discovered there's a bookstore (opened since 1987) on College Street in Toronto called "The Beguiling"... That is one of the more sad byproducts of now being a Kobo owner: I less frequently go into bookstores. And there's something so enchanting about escaping reality for some time in a bookstore. We have a lovely bookstore here in town called Four Points Books. I think I may treat myself to a birthday bookstore saunter this afternoon.

I have a bit of an obsession (okay, addiction) with looking into the Little Free Libraries (almost) every time I pass one. I've picked up some pretty sweet kids' book scores - including yesterday, Robert Munsch's "Love You Forever" which I distinctly remember my own Mum reading/singing to us as kids. 

Words are funny. I recently discovered that I have misunderstood/have been misusing the word vernacular. I was using the term interchangeably with colloquial until recently when I was called out around a bonfire - someone inquired about the definition of vernacular and I really couldn't produce one.

Another word that I came across in the book I'm reading is iconoclast. I was familiar with this word only as the name of a prominent 3200meter peak in the Selkirk Mountain range that we can often see when skiing on the Braille Mountain ski trips on Sorcerer Lodge's tenure. Unbeknownst to me, this mountain is names after a real word with a definition I quite enjoy: 

Iconoclast - noun [i-con-o-clast]

1. a person who attacks cherished beliefs or institutions

• "he was one of music's true iconoclasts" 

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It is now the day after my birthday. Still no baby. I'm wrapping up this blog, along with my other to-do list items I'm hoping to accomplish before we have to jet to the hospital. 

I had the loveliest relaxing, low-key birthday which could be summarized by the following photos:

One of the "happy birthday" messages I got yesterday was from my dear friend Cat whom often has a featured quote in her email signature (I tend to love people who do, and wrote a post about it back in 2022). Cat's featured quote right now is:

"If they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair." - Shirley Chisholm

Embarrassingly, I didn't recognize the name Shirley Chisholm so I did some quick research to find that this courageous, outspoken, resilient, badass was the first black woman to be elected to the United States Congress - and served for fourteen years from 1969 to 1983. And now I'm adding her autobiography: Unbought and Unbossed to my mat-leave reading list. 

Since I didn't make it there yesterday - off to the bookstore I go! 

But first, I'll finish drinking my raspberry leaf tea that a friend gifted to me (apparently used for cervical ripening - with a lack of evidence, but delicious and comforting nonetheless). Each tea bag comes with a quote. This morning's was:

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." - Lao Tzu

This is a lesson I could learn from. To be at ease with slowing down, to practice patience, effortless action, to be present in the moment. That's my intention as we enter this new phase of life ahead.